Was Jesus black, Jewish or female?

Willie Brown

Willie Brown

Willie Brown, the only black mayor San Francisco has every had, as well as a California state assemblyman for donkey’s years, many of them as speaker, tells a good joke in his latest column:

There are three good arguments that Jesus was black: He called everyone brother, he liked gospel, and he didn’t get a fair trial.

But then, there are three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: He went into his father’s business, he lived at home until he was 33, and his mother was sure he was God.

But then, there are three equally good arguments that Jesus was Californian: He never cut his hair, he walked around barefoot, and he started a new religion.

But most compelling of all are the three arguments that Jesus was a woman:

He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it. And even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was work to do.

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6 thoughts on “Was Jesus black, Jewish or female?

    • I can think of three arguments (omitted) for him being a lesbian, but a lefty? I thought left-handed people (think Ned Flanders or Barack Obama) were the spawn of Satan.

    • I can just imagine the screams of right-wingers when they find that Jesus returns as a black (or indigenous American) pro-choice lesbian.

      Willie Brown, you have a great mark in my book! Loved this!

      Oh, and don’t forget that a child was born out of wedlock to an adolescent mother (who was married to a much older man) and an elusive father in a stable after the young mother was forced to give birth there after the couple was turned away from a crowded inn. The little boy grew into an unemployed, unmarried man who hung out with harlots and the dregs of society, plus twelve other men who faithfully followed him, and believed that he was the son of God. That boy was Jesus.

  1. All jokes aside, it is shocking to me how many people, many of the Christians believe Jesus founded Christianity (I am not even going to address the blue-eyed, blond haired Jesus murals).

    For a much more accurate depiction I recommend watching “Life of Brian” (;

    He was most likely a typical dark Middle Eastern Jew caught up in a messianic wave that swept through what Judaism saw at the time as an “end of days” period.

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